I think I’ll be able to say this, I’m feeling better today :) I’m starting to realize things and I don’t know, I guess you can say I’ve been so tired trying to let myself get into you. It really gets tiring and pointless. But I’m really better now, no hard feelings :)
Sweetest Goodbye.
And I guess this is the part where I wake up and realize the worth of my being. I’ve given so much and got less than I deserve. The people who truly had good intentions, I took forgranted. And the person who had nothing to offer but I appreciated more than I probably could, gave me a heavyheart. I guess I’ve always knew that it was not the right timing, probably not even the right one, but I risked it all, I risked being hurt because that’s how much you matter to me. But it’s not always about what I feel anymore, right? And I don’t want it to be because of me, cos that’s not how things work, at least not to me. Partly because I really know nothing about you. And thats what sucks more. Anyway, the rest of what I truly feel will just be with me. Goodbye now, right? Yes.
You’re entitled to do what you want and decide what your heart tells you to do.
I know one way or the other, you’ll decide what you know is right and what you feel is right. You’ll go to what makes you happy, cos that’s all that matters right? I know that. And I’ve been guarding myself lately so I’d be ready when that time comes. I know how hard it is to forget someone you once gave your heart to, I’ve been there. I know how it feels to want that person back in your life. And I know how it feels when that person comes back. It feels magical, almost as if you’re the luckiest person alive. And you know, you start to think about second chances, how it might work and maybe this time it may last. You see all kinds of possibilities and hopes coming to life. But then again, that person left and hurt you once, what’s the assurance that they wont leave and hurt you again? Realize who stayed with you when things were down, the person who saw all of what’s good in you when you were miserable, the person who appreciated you when you were a mess, and the person who tried their hardest to make you happy. But I know sometimes these things doesn’t matter at all if you’re not even happy. So decide what you know and feel is right, cos at the end of the day, it’s your happiness that matters most.
I really don’t know what to do with my feelings anymore. I hate how it feels to be an option to someone I prioritize. It’s disheartening. I know I need to stop trying already, and maybe I am, but my feelings haven’t changed, not even a single bit. I’ll get there, though. It’s pathetic how I try so hard because I know in my heart it will lead me nowhere. Because if I really matter, you would’ve done something already, like talk to me. I guess I’m really not that important, and that’s okay. I know in the end I’ll be left clueless and I think it’s safe to say that I’m done trying. I really just can’t take disappointments anymore. I’ll just go with the flow and if you choose to leave me, then I guess that’s the end of it. No expectations, no disappointments.
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And just like that, we fell apart.
Thank you for the heads up. I’m wide awake now. No more stupid mistakes. No more. #iwouldsaymorebutidratherkeepittomyself #wordscantdescribewhatifeelrightnow
